Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
