i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
