i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
