awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize