Screwed.edu
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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