the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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