Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
