I'm drive I can fine osifer
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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