Non-Jews are for practice
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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