And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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