I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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