i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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