so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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