So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
