My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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