you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
