I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Fuck appropriateness.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
