Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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