Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
