Yo dont text me then not text me
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Randomize
