I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
