there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
