Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
