You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
