why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Barsexuality is the new black.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
My dick has a subreddit
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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