What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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