My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
How's work?
Spinning.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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