Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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