Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
he was CRYING into my vagina
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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