so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
