she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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