Define "chronic" masturbator.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
