Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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