It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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