Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
