Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
