so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
is it fun? or sober?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
