Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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