i don't plan on having that self control this summer
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
