Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
