Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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