Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
