She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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