We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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