his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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