Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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