he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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