you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize