I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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