i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
It's just like the Real World with babies
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
