he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
