was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
