Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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