my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
