Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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