He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
