Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
