Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
