After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Can I color on your dick again?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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