Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
