it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
