Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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