Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
