did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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