Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
