i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
