He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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