Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
