Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
